Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

Eighth and final semester, day two:  Somebody fucking kill me.

No, seriously. Today I went to my Friday class, an elective known as Fibre 200-something, also known as Printing On Cloth.  Oh right, so this is why I decided to be a painting major.  Because technical processes are both laborious and daunting to me.  I would much rather have total and instantaneous control over my product, the pure extension of my own hand.  Which is why I love to make paintings! the spontaneity and ability to judge based on intuitive response, and the most technical aspect of it all is stretching a damn canvas! Okay, so I don't really make too many of those these days, I still absolutely love to do it! But this need for instant gratification could also account for why I make videos.  Well, why I make videos the way that I do.  Which is to say low-tech, based in process-by-play (a new term that I just coined, referring to a process that involves tons of glitter play dough, spray foamy, glitter, and other fun things that I also enjoyed when I was five), and so bizarre that little editing is even required.  For the record, my editing skills are limited to iMovie, and rudimentary at best.  And after that, I can project the thing on a big ol' wall, turn up the speakers, and voila! A giant, no-mess, mobile, writhing, bizarre, vortex of an artworkz.  But yet today I endured an entire day (see: 9AM-5:30PM...dear God that's not artmaking, that's a full shift) of my first ever stab at an actual Fibre course, as well as at silkscreening.  And I have to say, I don't much care for it.  The minutiae of cleaning the screen within 30 SECONDS OF APPLYING THE PIGMENT AND...wait, what was the technical term for it? Shit, I just learned it, "PULLING", LEST IT DRY AND RUIN THE PRECIOUS SCREEN FOREVER, is just beyond what I can bear.  Somehow, I found myself upstaged by the second years, who had actually taken similar courses before, as my work area was just covered in ink, resulting from improperly centered silkscreens. The idea that I should spend all this time in a studio that is not mine, taught by an instructor who is apparently dead-set on the idea that she is teaching only overzealous second (and first) year future Fibre-majors, is just revolting.  Plus, we're not even allowed to bring our beverages into the space, lest we die from toxic...airborne...ingestion? And a late policy that just doesn't work for me, on Fridays, in this, my last ever semester.  I could continue my self-indulgent rant, but I realize that this may be childish, and I should quit complaining and perhaps listen to the instructor's demos with an open mind that might just instill upon me a new craft! Meh, if I want a fun drawing emblazoned upon my T-shirt, I'll just learn how to do iron-on.  In the mean time, I've got to find another class to switch this one for. Save me.

we must kill our darlings

Ick. I go back to school on thursday, meaning I only have two glorious, school-free days left.  Two days to lounge about and not bother peeling myself out of my sweatpants and slippers.  Christmas break is easily my favorite holiday of all, and for a multitude of reasons.  First of all, I love to get into the festive spirit and decorate and make crafts and bake cookies with my mommy.  Second of all, since it is the winter, it means that I haven't started back at my job at the greenhouse yet (and won't until april), therefore I have three consecutive weeks to do whatever I want.  No waking up early (minus the one day I volunteered for my Mom, who is a school librarian, by helping her in her library- though that was for half a day and it's always fun (if I weren't going to be doing something in the Arts, I'd definitely want to be a librarian!), and the one day I "volunteered" at a hockey tournament with my buddy for a cool $50 cash.), no dashing off to sell shit to frenzied holiday customers, and no real schedule.  I sort of enjoy waking up and having no clue what day of the week it is- the only landmarks that I use during this holiday are: the weekend trip to Edmonton for our annual family Christmas party, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Mom's birthday (the 28th), and New Years Eve.  After that, I have to start watching the calendar (my choice between my new Mr. Winkle calendar or my new 365 days of Kitties desk calendar!) to make sure that I don't miss my first day back to class.  Which, alas, is thursday.  Before I get back to the grind, I hope to spend my final days as a free woman doing some baking, shopping, chillen', and yoga- which I've missed since December the 19th.  That's just not okay.  But I suppose I should be happy, as I'm heading into my eighth and final semester at the ol' Art College.  The next time I see any real freedom (save for Reading Week), I will be an educated gal, hanging up a framed Bachelor of Fine Arts degree on my wall.  Honestly, my last four classes are promising to be fairly stress-free, given two are second year electives to fill credits, and one is my final senior painting studio, taught by an epic, jovial man who really isn't into pushing too hard.  The fourth class, FINA450, is a bit of a crapshoot, so we'll see about that, but I'm at the point where I am more concerned with what I'm going to do post-BFA, that I really just want to do the minimal amount of work possible, hopefully breeze my way into a solid grad piece, and get the hell out of there. Thankfully my grad paper is complete and finished forever, so that's out of the way, and in my jury critique last month, one of the instructors quoted Mark Twain, saying that as artists, we have to learn to "kill our darlings", by that, he means relinquish all ties to aesthetic and conceptual qualities that have roots in history and convention.  I think that's a mighty solid piece of advice to take, because now in my final semester, I am going to try to make the ugliest, weirdest shit I can possibly make, and not tether it to some specific idea or concept.  It's time to make art that is basically a clusterfuck, because after I graduate, I don't plan on being a professional artist, so I guess now is the time to enjoy it while it lasts.  (But honestly, I don't even know if I have one semester left of creative juices and/or ideas. Ugh)
April, here I come.

Jungle Cat

This is one last remnant of summer, another animal friend- Jungle Cat! I painted him while on vacation in Vancouver Island.  I wish I were still there.  Anyways, I think deep down I have the potential for a successful career as a folk artist selling hand-painted plywood tchotchkies and decorative beadwork and handmade candles or something.  I could sequester myself right outside of Coombs market! Oh I like this idea already.  Anyways, I am back in the studio now, and maybe there will be some "real" new work to come, one of these days soon.

Oh, Jungle Cat, you vicious predator. Plus, look how poisonous you are! If you were a plant or a reptile, you would be just plum-deadly.  But you're not.  You're a Jungle Cat, therefore you are even more deadly.